Monday, January 24, 2011

Jealousy and Bad-Hearted!


Why must people now days have to be jealous among themselves! weird!!! 


        You're too fat or too skinny; your breasts are too big or too small, your hair is the wrong color, style or length; you would be cute if... bottom line no matter what you do, you are not good enough to keep the man in your life or attract a new one. This is the message that the mass media bombard women with on a daily basis. When a woman dresses explicitly it is for the purpose of gaining admiration and attention from both men and women.
If the large, impersonal social structure is telling women that they must constantly compete with each other, you can imagine the psychological damage this causes at the smaller, personal social structure in female relationships with close friends and family. Most women are not intimidated by movie celebrities, playboy centerfolds and print media super models because they don't have physical access to their male partner. But when your friends and family show a bit too much skin it can be a daunting task to pretend that the man in your life did not see their cleavage in the two-sizes-too-small blouse. Many of us are shocked when friends betray friends on the talk shows; by admitting that they slept with their best friend's boyfriend or husband. Unfortunately, this happens more often than women are willing to admit to.
As a counseling psychologist working with women, I have discovered that one of the indirect causes of why women are disloyal to each other is based on self-hatred and low self-esteem more so than the need to hurt other women. In therapy sessions women have revealed that the reason that they slept with their friend's or relative's husband or boyfriend was not because the man was particularly appealing, but because of what the woman who had him represented. Therefore in essence sleeping with another woman's male partner was a way of indirectly possessing the qualities of the woman that the friend admired.

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